THE 15 S3XY BENEFITS OF MA5TURBATION

We’re breaking Ma5turbation’s bad rep by talking about its benefits. And yes, they don’t just feel great; they’re excellent for your health, too.

So spank your monkey or flip your flossy—it’s so good for you. And don’t worry, you won’t go blind.

Thanks to science, we now know that Ma5turbation is actually good for our health. The only problem now is that many men and women are still embarrassed—not to mention feel guilty—by the mere thought of Ma5turbation.

So allow us to brush off the dust from your old-fashioned beliefs and let science do the talking.

The benefits of Ma5turbation

Ladies and gentlemen, Ma5turbation is not just a pleasurable way to “take care” of yourself. There are also huge health benefits to Ma5turbating.

So here are some of the reasons to give yourself some self-love, not just once in a while, but regularly.

#1 Feel-good. Whatever feels good lifts up your mood and makes you happier. Pleasure feels good and Ma5turbation pleases you, especially when you reach your climax. So if you’re feeling down, go ahead and Ma5turbate. As we all know, Org*sms release dopamine and oxytocin, which can improve your mood and give you a natural high. So instead of doing drugs, why not give yourself your own Org*sms?

#2 Confidence boost. If you have one best friend whom you should take care of, it’s your own body. After all, it’s the only thing that’s going to be with you for the rest of your life. So why not treat your body to some loving, right? After all, Ma5turbation is known to make you feel good about your body, as it allows you to get to know yourself in a physical sense, especially your pleasure points.

#3 S3xuality enhancer. As Ma5turbation allows you to explore your body and makes you confident about what turns you on and what pleases you, it helps improve your S3xuality. Knowing what feels good and where allows you to be in charge of your body, even when you are with a partner. This is because you know what feels good and you can be more vocal about this with your partner.

#4 Who says you need a partner? Who says you need to be having S3x with someone to make you feel S3xual? Ma5turbating regularly helps your brain get the “S3xercise” it needs so you can easily feel aroused. The more S3x you think about, the more S3x you’ll have, and you’ll want S3x even more. And all this can happen while you’re feeding the beaver or spanking your monkey.

#5 Stress reliever. Since Ma5turbating makes you feel good, it is a great way to unwind and relieve stress. Again, it releases endorphins, which also help to calm you down and lift up your mood. So if you’re having a rough day at work, end it with a bath, some sensual music, and go ahead and buff the banana.

#6 Improved S3x life. As you become more in-tune with your body and your pleasure points, you can get more out of your S3x life. This, in turn, gives your partner satisfaction, as they can see you becoming pleased and satisfied. Also, if you are confident enough to talk to your partner about what you like, you can both open more doors to another world of bedroom pleasures.

#7 Lullaby, anyone? There’s a reason you feel sleepy after a wild and satisfying romp with your partner. Having toe-curling Org*sms can relieve your body from tension and leave you exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can then prime you well for sleep. You will feel relaxed and tired *in a good way*. So if ever you have insomnia, try Ma5turbating before reaching for those sleeping pills.

#8 Release your tension. S3xual tension, that is. Ever notice when some people become extra cranky? It’s probably because they aren’t getting any. So if you don’t want to be like them, a great way to stay in a positive mood is to Ma5turbate. You can satisfy your libido even without the need of a partner—and as an added bonus, you’ll be in a much cheerier mood than before.

#9 Org*sm all you want. One, two, three… or more. It’s all up to you. While you can Org*sm once or twice before your partner gets tired or “finishes,” you don’t have to worry about that when you go solo. You can take the afternoon off and have yourself a solo sensual spree. Especially if you’re a woman, you can keep going, and going, and going…

#10 Premature Ejaculetion? No problem. For men, Ma5turbation can also greatly help you improve your S3x life. Jacking off can help you manage premature Ejaculetion. What you can do is to crank your shank around two hours before having S3x. This allows you to perform longer before another Ejaculetion comes. Voila! You’re an instant S3x machine.

#11 Prostate problems begone. Again, for men, Ma5turbation helps to lower the risk of prostate cancer. Those who Ejaculete more than five times a week are less likely to develop prostate cancer. So what do you do when you don’t have a partner who’s in on it five times a week? You Ma5turbate. By burping the worm, you are flushing out the disease-causing toxins in your genital tract, therefore clearing the path and keeping you spic and span down there.

#12 What’s with the nose? Ever notice that your clogged nose gets better after S3x and Ma5turbation? This is because being aroused and even having Org*sms reduce the swelling of the vessels in your nasal passages. It is even said that S3x and even Ma5turbation alone can improve your condition if you have a common cold, hay fever, allergic rhinitis, or other ailments.

#13 Fight off germs. With your fingers or your palms. This is because Ma5turbation—actually, it’s Ejaculetion—increases cortisol, a known stress hormone that is also responsible for helping you regulate and maintain immunity. Even scientists from the Fortis Escorts Institute in New Delhi say that Ma5turbation can produce the right environment for strengthening the immune system naturally.

#14 No STD, no pregnancy. No S3x, no problem. For both men and women, Ma5turbation is a healthy and safe way to get off without having a partner, therefore lessening the risk of contracting an STD from a partner or getting pregnant. It is a great way to be S3xually satisfied without having Vag!nal penetration.

#15 No downsides whatsoever. Ma5turbation, when done regularly *note: not excessively, which may be a sign of S3xual addiction, mind you* and in a private place, has no negative effects. You’re not going to get sick, you won’t grow hair on your palms, and you won’t go blind. There’s really nothing wrong with Ma5turbating. And best of all—it’s free!

Ma5turbation has many benefits and no downsides. From making you feel good to helping you ward off diseases, there’s really nothing wrong with juicing out and pounding your flounder. All you just need to do is find a cozy, comfy place with the utmost privacy, set the mood with S3xy ambience, maybe use some toys, and just have a go at it!